**Disclaimer: this will not apply to every bride, but is something nearly every one of my recently married girl friends, and then I myself, experienced and something I’m sure someone will find helpful. And let’s be real, anything to make wedding planning go more smoothly, even for just one person, is worth putting out there.**
I totally fell into the “I used to be an event planner, planning my wedding will be a breeze” frame of mind. I knew exactly what I wanted and how to make it happen and I had the craziest idea that everyone would stand back and let me handle it. Because of course, I was a former professional!!
Feel free to laugh at my delusion. Roll your eyes at my ignorance. Scoff at my… well you get the gist.
Back to the point of this post…
When you finally get the chance to plan your wedding, you’re so excited that you just want to tell everyone about everything you’ve always dreamed for your big day. All of a sudden, its your chance to wax poetically about everything from favors to fonts.
Here’s the advice I wish someone had told me, that would have made thirteen months of wedding planning go a lot smoother:
Before you share the details of your big dreams, take a moment to step back, let the dust settle, and examine the situation. Your status has just changed in a big way, and not just on facebook. All the people who are most important in your life, and your fiance’s, are now going to see you in a whole new light. And they’re going to become a lot more involved in your life. You’re no longer just the “young dating couple” or the “here today, possibly gone tomorrow girlfriend”. Both you and your fiance, are now “soon-to-be-part-of-this-family”. Taking a moment to get a feel for the new change in the family dynamics will help you to navigate your journey to the altar a lot more successfully than.. jumping right in before looking to see where you’ll land.
And here’s why:
You aren’t the only one who has been envisioning this wedding and some have been at it a lot longer than you have.
When you share your dreams and ideas with someone, the most common response is for that person to then share their ideas with you. Weddings are family events and knowing where everyone stands can be helpful. Plus, its always nice if you can incorporate a little bit of everyone.
The unfortunate side of this, is it also allows the opportunity for people to express their opinions of your ideas.
Our wedding was absolutely perfect and beautiful in every way. It was exactly what my husband and I had wanted, we received many compliments, and were even featured on a couple of wedding blogs. One of the compliments that meant the most to me was echoed by quite a few people who said they could see my hand in every detail of the event. But, I can honestly say, there is not one detail of our wedding that someone didn’t tell me, at one point or another, was a bad idea.
Like I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I knew what I was doing, I never expected to be told otherwise. But, I also didn’t take the time to realize that the context in which I was doing the planning had shifted. If I had taken a moment to assess the situation in the beginning of our engagement, I wouldn’t have been so surprised by the reactions I received. I would have been a little more prepared for what was coming, and been a little more careful of the information I provided for judgement. Our wedding day still would have turned out exactly the way it did, neither my husband or I would change a thing, but the journey to the altar might have been a little less tearful.
My ideas weren’t bad ideas, and neither are your plans for your wedding. They just may not be anywhere close to what anyone else had in mind.
(Image by Amanda Hedgepeth Photography)